Ideas From Carmichael Monaco
I received this submission from Carmichael Monaco on 11/16/05:
as i sit here, watching vh1 classics, wasting my education, hoping nobody remembers my sat scores, i’m flipping through my notebooks, finding lists and lists of ideas that i never did anything with.
i found:
a four-page outline of how i could unionize the kitchen workers,
a plan and list of classes for a skills exchange program/free school,
several pages of song titles (i used to be in a band),
lots and lots of unusable lyrics (who wants to hear songs about cat vomit and cannibalism?)
a few pages of the best ways to kill myself (ok, this was a few years ago—don’t get worried, i take b-12 supplements now),
an outline for a zine about overcoming shyness,
another zine outline…this one for illustrations of bad ideas that my roommates and i have said outloud before contemplating (like sharpening knives on gravestones, getting a pet walrus, and playing spin the bottle with throwing fruit at people instead of kissing them),
more than ten pages of songs for an apocalypse-themed mix tape (it would have to be a box-set). the idea is to make apocalypse kits that would include first aid supplies, water, primal strips, and mix tapes,
a menu for my vegan diner (ok, i can’t find it, but i know it’s written down somewhere. there was a dessert called a “snappy retorte”)
the idea of preforming unbaptismal services for people who never asked to be baptised in the first place,
and stories that haven’t gone anywhere…like the gay zombie movie/novel (seven pages are written, but i have lots of little details that might not get anywhere—-like wimpy vegan girls having a really hard time decapitating the undead, and a comic book geek actually owning comic books called “raising the dead” and “defeating the undead” (which is a total “lost boys” rip-off) and accurately blaming the masons for stealing it,
a chronicle of really depressed people trying to get out of bed in the morning,
a comic book about the vast difference between the world around me and the world as i interpret it (i have four pages so far),
and my best prank ever, which is too mean to actually do….my roommate “Amy” [ed’s note: a fake name] and i have an endless “your mom” joke going on, so to win once and for all, i almost had 500 pins made that would say “i fucked amy’s mom” and give them to everyone i know. but i had to tell her about it, because i didn’t want her to hate me forever. that could be in a movie, though.
anyway, thought i would share. now i’m going to write or something. (yeah, right).
6 years ago