A hospital that celebrates birthdays
A hospital that throws a birthday party for every baby born there. I mean, come on, the day you are born is your only real birthday. Every year after that is a completely different day. In fact, one might argue that the day after you are born is much more your birthday than an exact year after you were born, because of proximity. Following this logic, April 22 (the day before my birthday) is more my birthday than April 23 (my birthday), because it’s nearer to April 23, 1979 (the day I was born).
It’s a shame, then, that all birthday parties are a complete fraud. So this hospital of mine would not let your only real birthday go uncelebrated. As soon as you crawl out of your mother and get slapped where the sun don’t shine, the whole hospital staff comes into the birthing room singing “Happy Birthday” to you. There is cake (made with mother’s milk, of course), birthday hats, presents (mostly boring stuff like diapers and socks), a pinata, and a bunch of new baby friends to celebrate and eat cake with you.
After that, it’s all downhill.
6 years ago