Every-Eye-Color-But-Blue-Eyed Boy (now with research!)
Every song ever written is about some person who is beautiful merely because their eyes are blue. Why are singers so obsessed with blue eyes? Because blue eyes are heaven-like? Well, so are harps, and you don’t hear harps in every song. Same with eternity, and you don’t hear any songs lasting forever, now do you?
The songwriting community needs to make a concerted effort to toss blue eyes back into the muddy brown sickly green hole where they came from, and sing about the beauty of every other eye color.
Here are a few ideas:
* A song about someone who has fallen in love with people of every eye color, except someone with blue eyes, since those people are all but unlovable.
* A song about someone born with different colored eyes, one brown and one blue. This person gets a tinted contact to correct the miscoloration… turning the blue eye brown. When she loses that contact, and the blue eye comes back to haunt her, she simply plucks out her blue eye.
* A cover band called “Every Color But Blue” that covers songs that reference the beauty of someone’s blue colored eyes, and changes the “blue” from the original to some other color like “Green” or “Novelty Tinted Contact Red.”
* A song about a woman who is perfect, except that she has blue eyes. This woman’s husband is obsessed with the fact that she is flawless save for her eye color, and develops a procedure for permenantly turning her eyes hazel. The procedure works, and for one glorious moment he is married to the only perfect person on earth. However, because perfection belongs only in God’s realm, she dies one second later.
Should have been happy with his blue-eyed girl, I suppose.
Now, an afterward.
From Esme Rilke comes this helpful bit of research from LetsSingIt.com, “Your lyrics search engine on the internet!”:
Results for “Blue Eyes”: Too many to list!
Results for “Hazel Eyes”: 17
Results for “Brown Eyes”: 337 (but “Blue Eyes” has too many to list!)
Results for “Green Eyes”: 117 (Still can’t list the millions upon millions of “Blue Eye” songs)
Results for “Black Eyes”: 146
Results for “Purple Eyes”: 11
Results for “Hazel Eyes with Amber Streaks and Freckles”: 0!
“Brown-Eyed Girl” notwithstanding, the Blue Eyes streak has lasted long enough. Thanks, Esme!
5 years ago