October 16, 2006

No-Kill Hunting

A place you can go to hunt exotic animals without killing them. Modeled after the infamous spots where you can shoot a rhino meandering by while standing safely behind a fence, this place would have all the coolest zoo animals that people want to kill: lions, giraffes, apes, zebras, African Wild Dogs, white tigers, Asian elephants, vultures, leopards, hungry hippos, flamingos and everything else. The difference would be that instead of actual bullets that you’re shooting at these spectacular feats of nature, you’re shooting high-dose tranquilizing darts that are somehow attached to high-splatter red paint balls.

If it were just the sleeping dart, it’s pretty cool to see the animal go down at your shot, but it’s a hollow victory without the blood. And if it were just the paintball, that’s even worse. Who wants to see an animal be splattered with red and then run safely away? But a tranquilizer dart with red paint ball re-creates the hunting experience almost fully, without the senseless death of a rare animal.

Would hunters go for this? I think so. Hunters love nature more than anyone. They love nature so much, they get frustrated with the inability of humans to connect with the lower animals, and are driven to manical shooting rampages in the woods. This way, at least, those rampages can be less deadly.

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