Man Who Can Tell Off Evil Historical Figures
Short story about a man (or woman, for you riot grrls) who goes back in time to confront various evil people in history and tear them a new one, verbally.
Because he goes to the past, which is impossible, his powers are limited while there, and he cannot physically harm the Hitlers, Stalins and FDRs that he ventures across calenders to find. All he can do is stand there and critique them.
However, because it is impossible to travel back in time, this makes him invincible while he does so; if he can’t hurt them, then it logically follows that they can’t hurt him. He’s kind of on another plane or something where they can see and hear each other, but not touch each other.
This naturally gives him the power to walk through walls, so if Hitler tries to get away while our hero is calling him out for his fascist views, he can chase him down through guarded hallways, secret bookcase doors, and bunkers.
What makes his time traveling worthwhile is that he is unusually insightful, witty and scathing, and also a great debater. And he can speak every language. His arguments are difficult to rebut, and his barbs are so well-placed and stinging that even Stalin has to admit that maybe his paranoia and purges have gone too far.
Of course there has to be some kind of conflict, like Pol Pot discovers the secret to time travel and follows our hero back to the future, where he critiques him for his laziness and relationship troubles.
Ultimately, however, our hero manages to humble all of history’s megalomaniacs, changing the world forever.
4 years ago