I'm Pro-Crime... and I Vote
One day, many years back, Joseph Weisenthal and I (and a few others, although I’m not sure how much they contributed) sat down and brainstormed a bunch of bumpersticker and T-shirt slogans. Almost two pages worth, single spaced. Today I saw someone wearing a T-shirt about voting, and it reminded me of one of them:
“I’m Pro-Crime and I Vote.”
An inferior alternate of this is: “I’m an Anarchist and I Vote.”
Once I find this file, I’ll have to post a lot more of these. But today I had a bumpersticker idea that would be good on the back of a maroon Ford Aerostar mini-van or a VW Bug. It would say:
“I Just Don’t Care Enough to Have a Panic Attack”.
And “Panic Attack” would be in jittery letters with motion lines around it.
If this were on a T-shirt, it could have that fat blue and black striped cat that was always jittery and stuck in trees in T-shirts in the 90s. He could be stuck in a tree.
I thought about submitting this to Overheard in New York, because I think it would have been funnier in that context than it is here or on a T-shirt. But it would have been a lie, since I’ve never heard anyone speak this aloud, not even myself. Plus, I woudn’t get credit for coming up with it. So here it is instead.
But stay tuned for better bumperstickers from the archives.
2 years ago