Losing Weight Through Charitable Deeds… with a manager (while invisible)
From Debra Blake comes this delicious variety pack of ideas:
1. One idea I’ve always cherished is this: that I could lose weight through the doing of good deeds. In other words, that via the act of charitableness or giving or helping, one would acquire merit and that could be traded in for such things as losing weight or increasing health, losing cholesterol points, gaining bone strength, etc. I think this is a very good and I would vote for it to be on the list of reality possibilities. Maybe it already is. 2. Another thing I’ve been wanting lately, and I’m sure this one definitely is real is this: I want a manager. I know there are personal managers and I want one. I want someone to: help me decide which IPod and which IPod dock to buy. I’ve enlisted Joseph as my manager on this one and foisted it off as a good Chanukah gift for me. I want a manager to choose a dining room light for over my table. I don’t have a clue what light to get, so when Brooke and Joe come this weekend (which I hope they do, and you’re welcome to come too) I’ll show them the websites I’m looking at and have them make some choices. But I’ll still need a manager to make the decision.
The same with a rug: I need a rug and I need a manager to decide on the best price to aesthetic value. I’ve got some websites to browse through, but that’s as far as I’ve gotten. I definitely want a financial manager. I have an accountant who does my taxes, but that doesn’t seem to be the same thing. I could also use someone to figure out my best hairstyle once and for all. None of this business about our having to know this kind of thing when we haven’t been trained for it. How the hell do I know what hairstyle fits whatever the hell shape face I have anyway? Or what color I am? The answer is I don’t, but there is someone out there who does.
The manager should ideally be a) one person who can make all these decisions without seeming to be controlling but rather kindly and entirely benevolent without any thoughts of anything other than my well being and b) not ask for payment or, because the world is the world after all, minimal payment. I’d prefer they receive my gratitude in alternative ways. I’d draw or sing for them or give them praise and many recommendations. This way they could continue to do the work they like doing, which is managing. I could agree to make them dinner, on occasion. If I had to make them dinner every night, I would look for another manager.3. Of course an invisible button that came with an option: something like “you don’t have to feel guilty about anything you do when you’re invisible” would be good. But that’s just ridiculous. The other things aren’t ridiculous, so they get my vote. As if there were an election afoot.
They all get my vote. Thanks, Debra!
4 years ago