The Semi-Rational Drug Dealer
A powerful, infamous drug dealer is meeting with a sketchy distributor, who claims the shipment he just got in is pure co-heroin (a new hybrid of cocaine and heroin). The drug dealer, not the trusting sort, busts out his portable, 100 percent accurate drug purity tester. Suddenly, the distributor gets nervous, and when the results are in to the dealer’s disappointment, the distributor is terrified.
The drug dealer notices his expression and says, “What’s wrong, you think I’m going to kill you for this? You tried to cheat me, you failed, end of story. I’ll never do business with you again, that’s a guarantee. But that doesn’t mean I need to kill you. How would that help? Mental note: ‘Do not engage in further transactions with this man in the future.’ That’s all I need to do. Cause if you look at this objectively, what you did, yeah, it’s bad, but a sentence of death? Seems a little overboard to me. Cheating a business partner, that’s a white collar crime. If were we were legit businessmen, you’d get a year in a low security prison for this, max. Illegal though our activities may be, we are businessmen, and we should hold ourselves to professional standards. Which means we don’t kill each other over every difference of opinion. Did you really think I would kill you? That would be such an irrational thing to do. I mean, why would I fucking kill you!?”
The drug dealer pulls out a gun and shoots the distributor in the head and then shoot his dead body until he’s out of bullets.
“That’s why, bitch! Don’t you ever cheat me again!”
1 year ago