Confused Rookie Massacre
Television skit: Two young guys walking in the Financial District in Manhattan. They see a cop holding a large semi-automatic gun. One of the guys says, “Watch this.” Walks to the cop and throws his arms in the air. “Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot!” The cop, a rookie, is confused. He looks around, but there is no one to tell him what to do. After a beat, he shoots the kid dead. The guy’s friend runs away, so he shoots the friend in the back, and then in the head, killing him too.
Seeing the panic and confusion he’s caused, he realizes he needs to settle everything down, so he goes on a well-intentioned rampage, not based on anger, but on confusion and lack of supervision.
He walks around on the street and into shops, and when he observes weird, uncomfortable, awkward situations, he executes all the people in them. He does the same for anyone who is acting strange at all, or standing out in any way (wearing colorful clothes, listening to a boombox, etc). At first he shushes the screaming witnesses, but if they continue to scream, he shoots them too.
Yet as bloody and horrifying as his rampage seems on the surface, with his confusion and good intentions, there is something innocent about it.
Later, when he is called before the police commissioner and asked to explain his massacre, he says, “They were acting funny.”
1 year ago